Michigan vs. UMD
A Michigan man has won the world Rock Paper Scissors championship in Toronto.
Tim Conrad of Taylor clinched the title after five hours of play and nine matches at the Steam Whistle Brewery on Saturday night.
Facing off against his best friend in the first all-American final in championship history, Conrad beat Tom Butkin with paper covering rock.
Organizers say Conrad dressed as Captain America during the competition to honor his home country.
Michigan representin worldwide!
Side note: the Canadians wrote way better (and more awesome) headlines than the Americans. The Detroit Free Press ran with the boring “Local Man Cuts Down Opponents” and the Chicago Tribune ran with the most basic headline above all (found in the title of this post).
The Canadians? The Toronto Sun went with “Captain America rock solid” (fuck yeah). The Canadian Press wrote, “Michigan Hand Warrior is the new Rock Paper Scissors champion.” That’s right, he’s a hand warrior. The greatest hand warrior of all, representing the great Mitten state.
I am now determined to step my game up to hand warrior status.